Jun. 16th, 2008

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I am sitting at my desk here today and it is really slow, so my mind has taken me on a whirlwind tour through my past life.. My heart jumped in at about 17 years ago, and decided to remind me of a few things too along the way.

At 21 my life was much different then where I reside now. I was a in my second year of college living in the dorms at ISU, in Pocatello Idaho. I can honestly say that was the first time I fell in love. I at the time had not come out as gay, I hadn't given it a second thought. I had my friends, we went out in groups, small groups, sometimes one on one.. For the most part it was more girls than us guys maybe 6 girls 4 guys made our clique. But as time wore on one of the guys and myself seemed to be breaking off more and more together, or taken the lead on setting up things to do and inviting the others to join.. He was your typical football jock, not the beefy linebacker but the kicker, long lean body, good looking, studying to be a coach. It was during that second summer, that I am not sure where things were headed, all I know was I was along for the ride.

Our relationship was never sexual, But I will say it was truely sensual. We never kissed. But we did on more than one occasion, sit legs intertwined arms resting on each other and talk about what we wanted and didn't want in our futures. That summer he was working in Jackson Hole which was only 40 minutes from my house so every weekend he had me there on Friday evening for the weekend to either go camping, white water rafting, or to stay in town and have some friends come around.

It was a weekend with some friends who where there; that we all headed out to do some shopping. It was a small silver shop on the square that sold cheap rings and things. I picked up a pinky ring that had some hash marks around the band. He picked up a plain silver band. We put on our rings and headed out, with our friends. At beer thirty we where all goofing about what we bought.. he asked to see my ring, I handed it to him.. He said how much he liked it and gave me his. I looked it over and said cool, give me my ring, he never said a word just smiled and put it on his ring finger. I laffed at him and put his on. I still have it, I can tell you the row on in the box where it sits..

Today my heart wanted to tell that story..

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